i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
