even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robitsâ€
Randomize