I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
