i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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