That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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