I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
