where does the pee come out of this thing
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
