we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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