Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
