I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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