If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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