Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
