You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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