took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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