Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I think my nap took me to another dimension
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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