are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
