did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
