i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
not ubering you a puppy
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
