It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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