I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
