The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
