If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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