Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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