Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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