oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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