We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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