You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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