I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize