You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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