I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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