JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
