So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
