So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
