a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
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