in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
