is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
