so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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