I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
