I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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