Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Randomize
