Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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