We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
