I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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