I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize