why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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