College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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