Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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