Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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