They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
