I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
