I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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