So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
