Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
