I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
