I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
