I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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