All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
