oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
