and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize