Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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