It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
where are my eyebrows?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize