I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
we're so committed to being not committed
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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