3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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