i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
