its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize