mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
All the doctor said was why
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
